Potomac River: Fun Due to Matt White's Absence

Due to the torrential downpour of three rain drops in the mid-morning Washington DC area, Team NORSA's impromptu initiation Potomac kayaking and canoeing tour for Justin Kahrl lost notorious slugabed and member-in-poor-standing Matt White to a case of chronic fatigue syndrome and agoraphobia. Nick Douglas ably stepped in and took photos on his iPhone...which is something Matt White does not own.

Veterans Steven L. and Tom gave Justin a useful primer on making a wet exit of a kayak despite the presence of a copperhead snake. Matt White would normally have started off the trip on a down note by calling into question the wisdom of boating in such waters. Good thing he was picking out pillows at Bed, Bath, & Beyond instead!

From there, Team NORSA proceeded down river, blissfully unburdened by White's somber mood and fun-last priorities. First stop: rope-swing. Douglas chose not to get wet in an effort to mimic White. The rest of us swam about in the rapids, chatting with the at-risk youth group that had built a small fire and appeared to be smoking marijuana. Good thing Matt White was eating crumpets and watching Wimbledon rather than saying something stupid to start a fight.

Next, Team NORSA stopped on an island that, being tall and white, might just have come to be known 'Matt Island' if only he were present. But thank heaven he wasn't, because he would totally have nixed the rock-skipping and firework lighting that followed.

In short, a good time was had by all because Matt White did not show up. Thank you Matt White.